Maybe someday Steve will figure out the words that will make Tony understand. Over the years, he has tried every word he can think of; whatever differences they have are not a matter of lack of opportunity to talk.

*meep*

And seriously, true; as overpersanalized as their conflict has gotten at time, the truth is that even if you took all that away and they could step back and be rational they'd still have a hard time finding common ground.