Meme that took over my flist today!

[caiusbackup]

Because why not!

Ask any character I've written for advice, and they will provide it, advice columnist style. Your problems or fictional characters' problems both welcome. Management is not responsible for the results of following said advice (especially if provided by Ollie).

Comments

[caiusmajor.livejournal.com]

Dear Natasha,

Isn't it terrible the way the Hollywood fat cats only pay attention to their wallets? Always casting people 'cause they're hot rather than 'cause they're talented or at all right for the role. Although at least they could dye her hair, right? It just wouldn't be you at all otherwise.

(Although she is really hot. I would totally be asking for her number if I were still a rich playboy and not a married man.)

Do you have money? You could sue to get back the rights to your likeness, or just make the studio an offer to buy the movie and cast who you'd like. Alternately, you could write angry letters and articles, maybe put up a website. I had a newspaper collumn once and it was a lot of fun even though it never seemed to help.

Or you could show up at their mansions and studios and use your dangerous spy skills to convince them that, really, they need someone else for the part. If all else fails, there's always calling in your powerful friends, but be careful with that. It's awkward when your best friend rewrites reality to get you a better actor.

Best of luck!

Ollie

[slb44.livejournal.com]

Ollie, Ollie, Ollie,

Everyone told me you were a horn dog. I thought you'd at best suggest a threesome!

Everyone also told me to take advice you gave me with a huge grain of salt. Apparently they were wrong about that as well.

I shall contemplate your advice and act accordingly.

Keep your eyes on the news!

Sincerely,

Natasha (they don't call me the Black Widow for nothing)

[caiusmajor.livejournal.com]

Natasha,

I'm sorry! I'm a married man these days and if I suggested any such thing my wife would kill me. For real this time. I'm sure as the Black Widow you understand.

But if Dinah's ever up for a threesome (or a foursome) I will keep you in mind!

I look forward to news of your victory against those Hollywood fat cats!

Love Sincerely,
Ollie